real communion.

today the guest speaker at church referenced the surreal life 2 during the sermon and i died a little inside.

sunday school starts in a few weeks & i'll be teaching 3 and 4 year olds. i'm preparing myself mentally for lively rounds of "zaccheus was a wee little man," that acid aftertaste church drink, and crafts made mostly out of cereal. what fun. this is an effort to become more involved at church and meet new people without having to go to the dreaded 4th presbyterian singles group again. allow me to explain;

a few monthes ago i was reading the church bulletin and noticed that there would be FREE bagels after church if you attended "the gathering." not being one to pass up free pastries, i went. i walked into this musky room that looks like the viewing room at the funeral home where i was greeted by 3 people, whose names can't recall. the first guy immediately tries to throw me into a rousing conversation about the cubs vs. the sox. feeling a little nervous, and not realizing that my "humor" would be lost on these folks, i said blankly, "i don't really care about sports."

this dude was APPALLED by my comment. he says, "well i guess i won't be needing to put you on the e-mail list for sports-related mixers then." cool.

we go around the circle and say our names and brief background info and i'm informed that one of the two girls there went to calvin. (AWKWARD) she proceeded to ask me questions like, "did you know so-and-so from fill in the blank dorm?" and my personal favorite, "so...you just dropped out?" thank you, new friend.

i'd had it. i wanted to take my bagel & run. before i had a chance, mr. smiles walks in the room. he's wearing tapered jeans and a long-underwear type shirt, perfectly accented by a giant cross necklace that hangs down on his hairy exposed chest. i freeze up: youth pastor! sure enough, his name was probably chase. all i could think about as he talked to me was that he was probably imagining it how easy it would be to throw a burlap sack over my head and drag me to the alter, kicking and screaming. anyway, he was about 10 minutes into telling me about receiving "the call" when i politely excused myelf to use the ladies room, dashed through the courtyard, and hopped on the next bus home.

sunday school sounds really good to me. 3 year olds don't care if you don't follow the sox.